I walked out into the main office and was offered an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie from one of our volunteers. Oatmeal chocolate chip. My absolute favorite cookie in the entire world. I glanced at it, feeling the saliva intensify on my tongue.

But I said no. That's right. *Me* The girl with no sugar willpower said no.

... And then the volunteer cried.

It was symbolism for my entire childhood, I swear. *Beat* Well, okay, not symbolism, but I got that damn 70, which means I can't come up with the right word right now. But anyway, sugar was given in my family to mean many things. It's given me many hangups now that I'm all adult-sized, but one of them being that if someone offers you food, you take it. If you don't, you are a rude son of a bitch that should feel huge amounts of guilt for even considering saying no. And you'd better act like you like it too. Even if it's the most awful tasting thing you've ever ingested.

So, needless to say, I felt like complete shit. Now, granted, the volunteer likely wasn't crying because of *me*, but I do feel that I was probably that damn straw on that stupid camel.

I still didn't take the cookie. I'm either growing as a person or becoming that rude son of a bitch. Or it could mean that the next time someone offers me a cookie, I'll automatically take it so the person doesn't suddenly start sobbing out of nowhere.

Tags: sugar, work
Current Mood: blah