Kiska (ifritah) wrote,

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Snob is me.

I finished Christopher Moore's book, Bloodsucking Fiends a couple days back that sporkchan lent me.

... I really didn't like this book.

I hate it when I don't like books people offer up to me because they like them so much. I get all guilty and crap. But seriously, this book... was bleh. The author was so busy trying to be funny, his writing flopped with me. And, well, I didn't find him too funny either.

The biggest pet peeve really was the writing style. If I'm concentrating too much on how the author is saying something, I'm not concentrating on the plot or characters. In other words, I'm not in the author's world. I'm Summer, who's currently critiquing the hell out of your wordage.

I don't have the book in front of me to give examples, but let's see if I can make some up that were similar:

Example A: She said, "Wow, look, I'm a vampire!"
He said, "Whoa, look at that! You are!"

GRRRRRRRRR. Okay, in the writing world, you do your best NOT to put names or he/shes at the beginning of a paragraph a whole bunch in order to put some variety into it. Doing this CONSTANTLY just grates on me. Plus, well, it looks dumb and out of sorts. "Wow, look, I'm a vampire!" she said. Yeah, that looks much prettier.

Example B: "Are you sure you want to eat pig's blood?" he said.

Okay, yes, he said something. Because 'said' is all general and stuff. But it still drives me bonkers. Not once did the author use 'he asked', which yes, really really bugged me.

Example C:

"Let's turn this bus around," Person X said.
She stood up. She thought, I can't believe I'm in a bus.

I know I'm not doing this example justice, because I honestly don't recall how someone can screw this up as much as the author did. But, well, the general idea is there. And that's how you work thought-voice into the picture. First off, if you're going to give me a thought-bubble, then you've gotta distinguish it. ITALICS. They love you! Love them back! Also? You're ass-backwards again! I can't believe I'm in a bus, she thought. Doesn't that look prettier? Yes, yes it does.

It's just so... distracting how he writes! Drove me batty and made me, literally, growl out loud on several occasions.

As for the plot (or as much as I noticed, considering the above), it was... eh. Honestly, I'm not sure if it would've been a better story even if the writing style were better. It was rather... bland. I mean, the Emperor was AWESOME... but I was pretty much eh to everyone else. There was a few funnies, but it didn't really make up for the eh.

... I feel so bad trashing sporkchan's book! I am an awful person!

Okay, I'm done now.

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